Don’t Look Down
Dating (My Ex-Husband) After Divorce
Post-divorce life is turning out to be very interesting
To Avoid a Broken Heart, Do Not Love
My Last Days as Someone’s Wife
On Taking the Easy Way Out
When Your Soon-to-Be Ex Is Your Soul Mate
Scorched Earth
First Rule of a Positive Divorce
5 Things That Changed My Divorce
If You Love Someone, Set Them Free. And Other Lies
The Last Divorce Writer Rides Again
May Divorce Be With You
Next Time You See Me, I’ll Be Laughing at Divorce
Even Though We're Divorcing, I Want You to Be Happy (And Other B.S. Tales)
I decide to switch targets to the 6.5 (whatever, she’s drunk, may be easier, she’s also kino’d me several times — not that that means shit when she’s sorta hammered). So I’m like, “who’s your favorite ninja turtle?” She’s like “ninja turtles, what the fuck?” I turn away from her a bit “Whaaaaaat…well, I thought you were her, but maybe not.” Her friend intercepts and is kind of advocating for her a little bit. Then 6.5 is like ‘okay, okay, Leonardo.’ And I’m like ‘okay…well that earns you another question….how about animals?” It’s hard to hear, and her answer was about kittens—she’s a dog person — but I remember — don’t lean in — so I have to ask like 3 times to hear wtf she said. Here, the set sort of nosedives. I just think I’m failing to build legit attraction….it seems pretty hard with three or more girls there. I honestly don’t remember, but at some point I was joking about the drunk girl being girl of my dreams, and then the 7 is like ‘she was ready to push you down a few minutes ago!’ and I’m like ‘oh yeah…whoa…’ and she’s like ‘yeah, you better get out of here.’ Not long after that, I kinda just tried to get the hint and move on to other pastures.
Next set!
This is actually funny. So I see these two asian chicks sitting near the bar, and I pull out the same routine. SURPRISE, SURPRISE — they were part of the group at the earlier bar. I didn’t even realize it until she was like ‘yeah…….we heard this before…except, my other friend was the hairdresser.’ I blink…then I just laugh my ass off. I get their names because I’m like ‘well we just shared an experience…”
Unfortunately, at this point, I was summoned to a table at the back by my friends, and the 4 told me to sit beside her. So I did. She kinda complained “usually there’s like 15 guys I want to fuck at a bar, but tonight…nothing.” I don’t give a shit, so I’m like ‘yeah, tryin’ to bang girls, tryin’ to bang guys can be tough.’ She complimented me several times on shit I ain’t interested in…like ‘you’re really nice, you’re so sweet.’ BARFORAMA. Later she’s like ‘see that guy, I want to fuck him.’ I’m like ‘nice! you should go do it.’
Meanwhile, somehow everyone lost track of Roy. Roy has just done nothing the entire night. But I text him and tell him where we are. The 4 is like ‘oh I don’t like him, he acts like he’s too good for everyone.’ I’m like lol. When he gets there, I have them talk, then I leave to make another circuit. On my way, I run into that earlier set — the 6.5′s and the 7. I’m just like ‘you guys again?!’ Blah blah blah…I call the drunk 6.5 crazy, and she’s like ‘call me crazy again and I’ll…I’ll punch you…’ and I fake a gasp, then she hugs me and is like ‘I’m just so drunk.’ So, she’s drunk, her friends ain’t into me, so I bounce.
Dating (My Ex-Husband) After Divorce
Post-divorce life is turning out to be very interesting
To Avoid a Broken Heart, Do Not Love
My Last Days as Someone’s Wife
On Taking the Easy Way Out
When Your Soon-to-Be Ex Is Your Soul Mate
Scorched Earth
First Rule of a Positive Divorce
5 Things That Changed My Divorce
If You Love Someone, Set Them Free. And Other Lies
The Last Divorce Writer Rides Again
May Divorce Be With You
Next Time You See Me, I’ll Be Laughing at Divorce
Even Though We're Divorcing, I Want You to Be Happy (And Other B.S. Tales)
I decide to switch targets to the 6.5 (whatever, she’s drunk, may be easier, she’s also kino’d me several times — not that that means shit when she’s sorta hammered). So I’m like, “who’s your favorite ninja turtle?” She’s like “ninja turtles, what the fuck?” I turn away from her a bit “Whaaaaaat…well, I thought you were her, but maybe not.” Her friend intercepts and is kind of advocating for her a little bit. Then 6.5 is like ‘okay, okay, Leonardo.’ And I’m like ‘okay…well that earns you another question….how about animals?” It’s hard to hear, and her answer was about kittens—she’s a dog person — but I remember — don’t lean in — so I have to ask like 3 times to hear wtf she said. Here, the set sort of nosedives. I just think I’m failing to build legit attraction….it seems pretty hard with three or more girls there. I honestly don’t remember, but at some point I was joking about the drunk girl being girl of my dreams, and then the 7 is like ‘she was ready to push you down a few minutes ago!’ and I’m like ‘oh yeah…whoa…’ and she’s like ‘yeah, you better get out of here.’ Not long after that, I kinda just tried to get the hint and move on to other pastures.
Next set!
This is actually funny. So I see these two asian chicks sitting near the bar, and I pull out the same routine. SURPRISE, SURPRISE — they were part of the group at the earlier bar. I didn’t even realize it until she was like ‘yeah…….we heard this before…except, my other friend was the hairdresser.’ I blink…then I just laugh my ass off. I get their names because I’m like ‘well we just shared an experience…”
Unfortunately, at this point, I was summoned to a table at the back by my friends, and the 4 told me to sit beside her. So I did. She kinda complained “usually there’s like 15 guys I want to fuck at a bar, but tonight…nothing.” I don’t give a shit, so I’m like ‘yeah, tryin’ to bang girls, tryin’ to bang guys can be tough.’ She complimented me several times on shit I ain’t interested in…like ‘you’re really nice, you’re so sweet.’ BARFORAMA. Later she’s like ‘see that guy, I want to fuck him.’ I’m like ‘nice! you should go do it.’
Meanwhile, somehow everyone lost track of Roy. Roy has just done nothing the entire night. But I text him and tell him where we are. The 4 is like ‘oh I don’t like him, he acts like he’s too good for everyone.’ I’m like lol. When he gets there, I have them talk, then I leave to make another circuit. On my way, I run into that earlier set — the 6.5′s and the 7. I’m just like ‘you guys again?!’ Blah blah blah…I call the drunk 6.5 crazy, and she’s like ‘call me crazy again and I’ll…I’ll punch you…’ and I fake a gasp, then she hugs me and is like ‘I’m just so drunk.’ So, she’s drunk, her friends ain’t into me, so I bounce.